I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
