Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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