the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
