is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
