it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
