Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
