Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
