I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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