Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
