some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I would ride that face into the sunset
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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