It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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