it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize