I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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