We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
