Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
