Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
