If i come over, it means nothing
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
