The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
