You work out of a Hotel?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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