I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Randomize
