I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize