he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
