You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
