Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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