As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize