I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
