I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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