I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
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