I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
one might say we're banned from that church
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
not ubering you a puppy
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
