I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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