Christians are straight up FREAKS
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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