There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you have to choose: penises or morals?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
