He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
