I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize