One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize