so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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