And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
