Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
