I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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