You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
