hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
