Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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