I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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