see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
