Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize