Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
