i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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