I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
