you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sober January is a disaster.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
