Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
