im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
