thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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