god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
