i don't like sucking hair
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
