We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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