We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
