I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I need a beard to bite.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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