I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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