Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
