He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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