I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
