somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
