Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
