Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
